Monday, March 14, 2011

Siblings, Friends, Relationships

I have a conflict with you.
You have a conflict with me.
But let's keep it between you and me, yes?

It's funny how you find things at the most ironic times.  I found this quote amidst a blog-rant, and found myself reading it over a few times.  And I've realized I've been on both ends of this debacle.

Ever had a fight with your siblings, friends or significant others and shared it with another friend?  Me too.

If you're like me, when there is conflict in your life you need to talk it out.  This is called venting.  
Venting - a. Give free expression to (a strong emotion). b. To express (one's thoughts or feelings, for example), especially forcefully
Venting makes me feel better.  I'm not gossiping, talking shit or defaming someone's reputation.  I am simply complaining.  I undoubtedly love and care for the person I'm venting about (in most cases).  So during a vent-sesh, I may say things, bad things... and I try ever-so-hard to reiterate to the victim hearing my vent-sesh, that he/she is not a horrible person (especially when my victim is a mutual friend of the source of my anger)... and then a few hours, days, whatever later - the venting is over, the strong emotions have passed, and life goes on...

Here's where the coin flips:

Ever had a fight with your siblings, friends or significant others and they shared it with another friend?  Me too.

This is the thought that made me think this over for more than just a moment.  I wonder... while my siblings, friends or significant other is venting to their victim (which I know they are) are they too venting like me?  Are they reminding our mutual peeps that this is a moment of strong emotion, but that I'm not a horrible person?  Are they defaming my reputation?  Are they talking shit?

Assuming there are no huge deal breakers in your conflict, that you are angry with someone you care about, and that the strong emotions will undoubtedly pass and life will go on.... how do you vent?

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